In my very limited experience, having a blog makes one suddenly very conscious of one's plans and appearance: "Oooh, off somewhere picturesque, will make a good blog post, must take camera, best make sure hair and makeup and outfit are perfect, no pictures from that angle please, oh that's unattractive, delete, yes a pose like this thank you very much, and now a close up, let's make everything look as beautiful as possible, fingers crossed it doesn't look too staged..."
I mean, blog posts aren't completely natural. I like beautiful things and that's nothing to apologize for, but sometimes I allow my blog posts to escalate from something fairly natural and loose to something altogether wannabe Vogue-ish. And there's nothing wrong with that - like I said, I like beautiful things - but my life isn't a walking-talking Vogue photoshoot
unfortunately. It's too easy for me to get jammed into the mindset that any blog post of mine has to be simply sublime. It's tempting to want you to glance at my blog and see me looking perfectly put together and tres chic at absolutely all times. Those fancy-shmancy blog posts are lovely to make, but my life isn't always glamorous or anything like unto it. Sometimes there needs to be a blog post to remind myself of that, a blog post full of spontaneity and average-looking outfits, because that's reality.
This evening I was slobbing in the basement eating toast and watching a film. I heard my roommate Kristi yell down that it was sunny and raining at the same time and that I absolutely had to go outside. Up and out I went, and immediately the artist alarm went off in my mind and like a maniac I dashed back inside thinking "CAMERACAMERACAMERA". What was also running through my mind was this: "This-would-make-a-gorgeous-blog-post-I-need-to-get-changed-and-put-on-more-makeup-I-hope-my-hair's-not-too-much-of-a-wreck-but-oh-no-what-if-I-miss-the-light-quick-hurry-ahhhh". And then, as I was faffing about in the kitchen, I heard Kristi calling again: "Stop taking pictures and live in the moment!"
Stop taking pictures and live in the moment.
I came to a sudden, screeching halt. Did it really matter that I was wearing minimal makeup? Did it really matter that I was in ill-fitting leggings and a pair of trainers? To put it frankly - no, it didn't. Of course the artist in me couldn't do the whole stop-taking-pictures thing, but I decided that tonight I would be brave and do the stop-taking-pictures-that-you-feel-you-have-to-look-perfect-in thing. And so I grabbed the camera, tied my laces, and went to join my roommates Kristi and Jane in the rain. And we had fun. The photos are awkward and embarrassing and a little bit bizarre. I don't look my best and am definitely not 100% photogenic. It's all a bit messy and unplanned, but so is life.
And that's okay.
Love, Kitty x